ARFC murdered its opponent!!!

In a match played under super-hot weather at Xin Min SS, ARFC murdered its opponent 9-2.

All major roads to the match venue was choked up 2 hours before the match as the 77,777 fans received news that sublime Khim has returned from his 2-week training stint with Los Angeles Galaxy together with David Beckham and Tom Cruise, and would be taking the field. As such, CISCO officers were deployed to control traffic as the Singapore Traffic Police officers are all busy with “hiding” on top the overhead bridge, behind the bushes along the roads, behind the pillars under the flyovers, and in the longkangs on the streets trying to catch traffic offenders.

Indeed, when sublime Khim stepped into the match venue, all the fanatical fans let go pyrotechnics display not unlike those you see during National Day Parade celebrations for almost 7 minutes.

However, ARFC received 2 huge blows when talisman Derrick withdrew as he has to go to the PM’s house for renovation quotation, while hard-running Guoxiong suffered a pull in the “groin area” as he attempted too many of the Malaysian’s form Health Minister’s stunts in Hotel 81 room, but he still turned up to support the warriors.

Dependable Jinzhong was protected by the usual back 4 comprising astute-reading sweeper Elvis, Towering Toh, determined Huiming and left-foot wizard Bernard. Hardworking Tong retuned to the central mid position to be partnered by versatile Kiat, and sublime Khim and Speedy Hee took the left and right flanks respectively. ARFC scoring legend Haron was paired up with powerful Alvin to present a much-feared strike force. Influential Sebastian was the only sub.

As the opponents only played with 9 men which irked all the ARFC warriors, ARFC could not play its usual game due to “no mood” and hence it was no surprise that ARFC played its most mediocre football ever seen in the first 20 mins. ARFC received a huge scare when its midfielder struck the post after beating the off-side trap. The 77,777 fans could take it no more and began jeering the warriors which woke them up.

In the 17th min, ARFC finally opened the scoring. Left-foot wizard Bernard sent a high ball down the left flank to send hardworking Tong to race down the left flank. Looking up, hardworking Tong chipped in a perfect cross to the lurking ARFC scoring legend Haron who scored with a beautiful stooping-cum-diving header a-la Juergen Klinsmann’s goal in World Cup 90. 1-0 and it was his 118th goal for ARFC.

Too complacent, ARFC allowed them to equalize after dependable Jinzhong spilled an easy shot. 1-1.

ARFC soon regained its lead. Sublime Khim sent a ball down the left flank to the scurrying powerful Alvin who again displayed his full range of power by easily brushing their defender aside, faced their keeper and beat him with a low drive. 2-1 and it was his 37th ARFC goal.

ARFC made it 3-1 7 mins later. A right-flank cross by speedy Hee was met by Towering Toh but his header came back off the cross-bar. However, he reacted the fastest and headed pst their keeper for his 24th ARFC goal. Responding to John Dykes’ query, fellow commentator Jamie Yeo made a “blonde remark” when she observed that Towering Toh has scored 97.77% of his ARFC goals via headers. The fact was of course already well-known amongst the loyal and faithful ARFC fans.

Influential Sebastian then came on in the 37th min replacing powerful Alvin who received a knock. Minutes before the end of the first half, he created the 4th goal after spotting Speedy Hee making a run in the penalty box and chipped in an over-the-top ball for him. Speedy Hee of course got the ball ahead of their keeper and lobbed him for his half-century ARFC goals – 50 goals!!!! 4-1

In the second half, ARFC kept up its relentless attack. Just 7 minutes into the half, ARFC got its 5th goal. Sublime Khim’s ball was laid on by Speedy Hee to influential Sebastian 7 metres outside the box. Killing the ball with a touch and looking up, he curled the ball past their rooted keeper ala Matthew Le Tissier style for his 51st ARFC goal. 5-1.

ARFC chalked up its 6th goal minutes later. Exchanging a series of one-two with ARFC scoring legend Haron, sublime Khim gracefully glided into their penalty box and easily beat their keeper with a low placing shot for his 29th goal for ARFC.

Again, ARFC took its foot off the pedal which allowed them to pull a goal back. 6-2.

In the 77th min came the goal of the month or perhaps the Goal of the Season or perhaps the best-ever goal scored by any ARFC warriors. Receiving a cleared ball 7 metres inside our own half, astute-reading sweeper Elvis started his mesmerizing run by dribbling past 4 or 5 defenders before facing the last defender in the penalty box. The chance looked to have lost when the last defender tried to clear the ball but the rebound fell back kindly to astute-reading sweeper Elvis and he took up the invitation by calmly side-footing the ball home for his 4th ARFC goal!! His wonder goal sparked off wild celebrations amongst the warriors who all heaped onto him but luckily Elvis’ bulky body was able to withstand the pilling. In fact, 7 FHM-type ladies fans invaded the field and hugged him together and the referee had to spend 7 minutes asking them to leave the field. Diego Maradona, who was watching the match at his home, called up John Dykes and told him that Elvis' goal was even better than his goal against England in Mexico 86!!!

Inspired by astute-reading sweeper Elvis' goal, Speedy Hee started his own mazy run down the right flank just minutes later and succeeded in breaking down the right flank. Looking up, he delivered a perfect cross for the freed ARFC scoring legend Haron who has the simplest of task to nod it into empty net for his 119th goal.

ARFC was not done yet. Sublime Khim threaded a through ball to ARFC scoring legend Haron who raced clear and faced their keeper. However, his shot was blocked but the rebound fell to the supporting left-foot wizard Bernard who guided the ball home for his 2nd goal for ARFC. 9-2 and amazingly, both his goals happened on the same field!!!

7 minutes after his goal, the referee ended the opponents’ misery when he blew for final whistle after which the fans all rushed onto the field and hugged each and every ARFC warrior.

Besides the 8 goal scorers, warriors like determined Huiming, hardworking Tong and versatile Kiat also contributed greatly to the win with their hardwork, tackles and simple play. Perhaps, dependable Jinzhong was not in his usual element but he could not be blamed as he has almost nothing to do for vast period of the time. It would not be exaggerating if he can even play the DS Lite in goal if Caren, wife of influential Sebastian who was there to support, lend to him just now.